Wet Painters (transcript)
This article is a transcript of the Camp Lazlo ''episode '"Wet Painters"' from season three, which aired on June 10, 2005. * '''Narrator:' A slow day at the Krusty Krab. * SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, check this out. up a patty in each hand Two ordinary Krabby Patties, but when expertly tossed with the skill of a champ, they become... them on the floor and Patrick slides the patties across the room * Patrick: A one-way ticket to pain! into the wall by Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs' window breaks off the wall caused by the impact. * Mr. Krabs: Huh? down his writing * SpongeBob: while on Patrick's mouth''Heave-ho! ''into the wall and the place shakes * Mr. Krabs: his office What the devil fish is going on out here?! is on Patrick's mouth Time is money! And if you boys is wasting time, then you're wasting money! up to SpongeBob And that's just sick! * SpongeBob: But we were performing a ritual to attract customers. And the only way the ritual can work is for us to get hurt. Real bad. * Mr. Krabs: What stupid barnacle told you that? * Squidward: Uhh… holds up his magazine over his face * Mr. Krabs: Listen, instead of killing yourselves, I've got something real important for you to do for me. cuts to the three of them standing in front of Mr. Krabs' house Now, are you men ready for your Super...? * SpongeBob and Patrick: Super? * Mr. Krabs: Special...? * Both: Special? * Mr. Krabs: whispers Secret...? * Both: whisper Secret? * Mr. Krabs: Assignment? * Both: screaming Assignment?!? / I beg of you, Mr. Krabs! / Put us out of our misery! and Patrick get worried * Mr. Krabs: The two of you are to paint the inside of me house! his front door * Both: Yay! out with excitement * Mr. Krabs: But, let me give you two a warning. This here paint is absolutely permanent. showing paint cans, shoves cans toward SpongeBob and Patrick It will never come off. So if I see even one drop on anything but wall, I'll have your rear ends cut off... up two empty plaques, each with their names on it …and mounted over me fireplace! So, have fun with the job. the door with them inside his house * SpongeBob: Patrick? * Patrick: Yeah, SpongeBob? see Mr. Krabs' wall; it is covered head to toe in memorabilia * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of expensive treasures to drip paint on. his paint on the floor Do you think we should take this stuff off the walls? * Patrick: his paint on the floor as well No way, SpongeBob, we're not getting paid to move stuff. * SpongeBob: Patrick, we're not getting paid at all. * Patrick: Well that's what I said! We're not getting paid and that's final! * SpongeBob: Okay, we'll just paint around all this stuff. * Patrick: Good, just don't pay me. * SpongeBob: First, we need to set up the tarp. up a tarp * Patrick: Tarp ahoy! the tarp on the floor, but the camera pans to reveal it's a tiny piece * SpongeBob: We're gonna need more coverage, Patrick. cuts to more tarp on the floor but not the entire floor Now that's what I'm talking about. Well, I guess we should open these cans of permanent paint now. * Patrick: That will never ever come off. * SpongeBob: And if we get it on anything, Mr. Krabs will cut our butts off. * Patrick: And mount them on the wall. takes a screwdriver and tries opening the lid''Careful, SpongeBob. Careful, SpongeBob. SpongeBob, careful. Careful, SpongeBob. Careful, SpongeBob! Careful, SpongeBob! ''screaming Careful, SpongeBob! * SpongeBob: the lid Patrick, the lid's already off. * Patrick: Oh. Now it's my turn! out a battle ax and hits the paint can with it. SpongeBob grabs the can * SpongeBob: I'm thinking I should do this one, too, Patrick! opens up the lid. When he does, a paint drop bounces on the tarp * Both: as the paint drop bounces on a tarp. Screaming again as the drop bounces on every tarp and then back into the can * Patrick: Well, that was a rip-off. wipes sweat off * SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, let's get our brushes ready. up his big brush Uhh, maybe we should start with a smaller brush. the big brush to the right of him then takes another small brush and gets a hair out of his nose. Patrick gets all his hairs out of his nose on his brush. SpongeBob dips the brush into the can and then faces the wall All right, Patrick, gotta get started painting this wall. With the permanent paint that we're not allowed to get on anything but the wall. Well, here we go. * Narrator: One hour later... * SpongeBob: standing in the same spot, while sweating nervously Just a few more seconds of mental preparation and I'll be painting this wall. * Narrator: Two hours later... * SpongeBob: standing in the same spot and sweating I'm getting to the painting. * Narrator: Three hours later... wall breaks between these two lines * Patrick: the “Three Hours Later” time card Can you move it along? I'm all out of time cards. * SpongeBob: standing on the same spot and sweating No problem. Here I go. a line of paint going down the wall. He smiles. The paint starts going down, but SpongeBob blows it one direction then another then another until he gets a blow dryer and blows the paint off the wall. Blows the steam off the hairdryer like a gun Yeah! Huh? the big paint bubble Barnacles! the hairdryer away What could be worse than a giant paint bubble!? * Patrick: Oh, I know! a wand, dips it in the paint then blows a big bubble Two giant paint bubbles! * SpongeBob: Noooooo! giant paint bubbles merge into one Patrick? * Patrick: Yeah, SpongeBob? * SpongeBob: I don't think this bubble can get much bigger! * Patrick: a bicycle pump and attaches it to the bubble Nonsense! pumping the bubble * SpongeBob: Pat, no! bubble grows bigger and bigger until it pops. The paint splatters all over the wall, covering up all the old brown spots. SpongeBob moves out of the way for the last bit of paint to splash on the wall We did it! the area We painted the whole house and without getting a drop of paint on anything but the Sandy's treedome. (angriliy) I'm warned ya, Dirty Dan! Now just on the Florida! Krabs' dollar on the wall has a dot of paint on it upon closer inspection. SpongeBob's eyes crack, break, and drip on the floor. He then falls over. He then wakes up and his eyes recover'' We're dead, Patrick! Do you know what that is?'' * Patrick: Hmm... it's a dollar. I win! * SpongeBob: That's not just a dollar. It's Mr. Krabs' first dollar! His most prized possession! And we got paint on it! * Patrick: I think you are over-reacting, SpongeBob, I don't see any paint. * SpongeBob: Okay, the dollar off the wall this isn't a problem. Maybe I can just wipe it off. to wipe the paint off with his tie but makes the paint even more noticeable There! I think I got it. the paint more. He becomes nervous so he wipes it more but the dollar becomes completely covered in paint. He screams. Sandy roars. * Patrick: Oh, now I see it! * SpongeBob: This is not bad, Patrick! This is not bad! Sandy is gonna be home soon, and when he sees what we did to his first dollar… cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick's butt on the wall while Mr. Krabs is enjoying some coffee by the fire * Both: [Both shriek while holding their butts, but Sandy has them both by the their pants and gives them an extreme wedgie.) * Sandy: '''(roars) * '''Patrick: Wait, SpongeBob, all we got to do is wash the paint off and Krabs will never know! * SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs said… * Patrick: his hands over SpongeBob's mouth Forget what Mr. Krabs said! Every paint comes off with something! cuts to SpongeBob standing by a washing machine * SpongeBob: Did it work? comes out from the washing machine with the dollar, still with paint on it, in his hands; he also has a bra on his head * Patrick: Nope. I'm Dirty Dan! cuts to SpongeBob sanding the dollar in Patrick's hand * SpongeBob: Did it work? hands are gone * Patrick: Nope. * Patrick: cuts to SpongeBob squirting sulfuric acid out of a fire hose. Patrick screams in pain * SpongeBob: Did it work? holds up the dollar that left a hole in his body from the force of the acid, except for the part blocked by his arms * Patrick: Nope. cuts to SpongeBob banging on the dollar Patrick is holding, while Patrick is wearing a neck brace and has a black eye; behind them is a huge assortment of weapons and tools that apparently didn't work either Oof! Oof! Oof! * SpongeBob: a club Nothing's working! * Patrick: Wait, SpongeBob! We're not cavemen! over to a computer We have technology! up the computer and mad grunts as he smashes it on the dollar, takes off a earmuffs * SpongeBob: It didn't work. AAAAAHHHH! * Patrick: as he puts the computer down This is all Mr. Krabs' fault! If he hadn't hung that stupid dollar in the first place...! I mean, it's not like it looks any different than a regular doll.... [Sandy reaches out, grabs the top of Patrick's head and rips it off. Sandy huffs and growls as she stands behind Patrick) * SpongeBob: Hurry, Patrick, take out your wallet. * Patrick: I don't see where you're going with this... out his wallet and pulls out a dollar hey, a dollar! * SpongeBob: Our butts are saved, Patrick! Now all we have to...Patrick, no! puts his dollar in a vending machine No…why'd you put it in the... dollar comes out Grab it, Pat, grab it! Hurry, hurry! pushes it back in Aww, Pat, no, no! comes out again Get it, Pat, get it, get it, get it! pushes it back in again and covers the hole so the dollar won't come out again Oh, no-ho-oh! * Patrick: a chocolate bar as he approaches an annoyed SpongeBob Wanna bite? * SpongeBob: Okay, okay, we still have time! in a mirror Don't panic, SpongeBob, panic is the enemy. You are strong. Through your strength, you shall overcome! Krabs is approaching the door while singing, offscreen * SpongeBob's reflection: You're on your own, pal. away * SpongeBob: as he runs in circles around Patrick Hurry, Patrick, put Mr. Krabs' dollar back on the wall! I got an idea! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Krabs enters his dark house where all the lights are off * Mr. Krabs: What the…? * SpongeBob: stammering We're all done, sir. Everything looks great. * Patrick: Yeah, you don't have to look around. We already did that for you. turn on; they are grinning suspiciously * Mr. Krabs: You both look like you got a dirty little secret. Ha! I'm kidding. Let's see how you did. Oh, not bad boys, not bad. A nice even coat, high gloss, no bubbles. * SpongeBob: Yeah, looks great, Mr. Krabs. We'll just be going... and Patrick are about to leave * Mr. Krabs: Flippin' fish fossils. Look what you did. * SpongeBob: leaving as he and Patrick kneel down and beg Oh, Mr. Krabs, we're so sorry! Don't de-butt me! Don't de-butt me! * Patrick: begging Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry! Have mercy! Have mercy! Please, Sandy! * Mr. Krabs: Sorry? You dusted all my knickknacks! That was really nice. Great Barrier Reef! What's this? * SpongeBob: begging It's not our fault, Mr Krabs! * Patrick: begging We didn't do it on purpose! * Both: begging Accident! Accident! Accident! Accident! * Patrick: begging I don't want to be butt-less! * Mr. Krabs: Oh, and I suppose the floor molding just painted itself on its own. is decorated with tiny ships That's what I call craftsmanship. Criminy jim-jam! you messed up my dollar... over to a bunch of dolls lined up perfectly ...rama! and SpongeBob are confused All the dolls in this dollarama were perfectly aligned! one of the dolls to an upright position * Doll: Mama. * Mr. Krabs: And you boys thought I wouldn't notice. Oh well, I guess no harm done. All right, boys, you're free to go. into a long pile of paintings Ow! That's funny, I don't remember a stack of painting jutting from the wall where me first dollar used to be. In fact, I don't remember this painting at all. the painting of a crying clown off Or this one. the painting of a car race off Or this one. the painting off. SpongeBob and Patrick are anxious Or this one. it off Or this one. it off Or this one. the painting of a banana off Or this one. Painty the Pirate off. SpongeBob is behind the painting he just took off * live action SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Kraals. * live action Sandy: Dirty Dan, what are you doing, Hurtville? * SpongeBob: Oh, you know, just hanging around. * Patrick: Sandy. * Mr. Krabs: Get down onto the floor, boy. stretches his body to the floor. Mr. Krabs is now annoyed Alright, now you're just being silly. Mrs. Puff, SpongeBob in your first dollar! * SpongeBob Puppeteer: Puff takes him off the wall and throws him aside No, No, Mrs Puff! No! Don't look, it's a trick! * Slinkman: angrily Does you two get paint all over your first dollar. (Sandy is really mad now) * Sandy: I warned ya, Dirty Dan. Now you just crossed to the Hurtville. * Raj: angrily We're not sorry, Mrs. Puff! * Both: (both scream) * Patrick Puppeteer Jonathan Silsby: We're so sorry! Please, Sandy, I can't afford dry cleaning! * Mrs. Puff: at the dollar again then looks at Raj and Lazlo And then did you draw on it with crayon. has a smiley face and two dollar signs drawn on with green crayon * Patrick: a green crayon as SpongeBob looks at him I thought, you know, maybe he'd buy it. * MRS. Puff: All right, boys... you know what I've gotta do now?! * SpongeBob: You mean our butts? * Patrick: Can I use mine one last time? Krabs takes the dollar and licks it. The paint comes off then Mr. Krabs puts the dollar back up on the wall * Mr. Krabs: There we go, good as new. Sandy! * Sandy: Hey! He licked the dollar. Really bad. * Both: are shocked beyond belief. Stammering But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but... * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I warned ya, Dirty Dan! This paint actually comes off with Sandy's Apple! laughs * SpongeBob: then smiles Oh, I get it, Mr. Krabs. You told us the paint was permanent so me and Patrick would be more careful and not get paint on anything! * Mr. Krabs: Nah, I just like to mess with ya! SpongeBob scowls. He and Patrick glare at Mr. Krabs; they storm out in disgust. Mr. Krabs laughs so hard he spits all over the walls The old man's still got it! laughing, but the paint comes off the wall from all the spit. He finally stops laughing to see his whole place a mess Aww, crud. I really gotta learn to say it, not spray it. Category:Transcripts